New Fad Diet Helps Dozens Lose Weight
- Feb 2, 2017
- 2 min read
They call it the "white trash" diet and it is sweeping small towns everywhere. At least a dozen people have reported losing weight by following 6 easy steps. Mark Staples outlines the steps that helped him lose 10 Lbs in 2 months*.
"Well, it was really easy.", Mark said. Adding, "Hell I didn't even realize I was losing any weight until my pants fell down in front of my neighbor, when I was checking the mail yesterday."
Mark believes it's possible for everyone to lose weight, "All you have to do is follow the steps and you'll look just like me..." Step 1. "Take a picture of yourself with your shirt off." Yeah, you'll look like a shitty knockoff Ben Rothlisberger, but it's worth it once you see the after picture.
Step 2 "Get you a job as a roofer and wear a wife beater shirt all the time! This is a good job, you get a nice tan, you get most rainy days off and it helps your cardio or some shit." Step 3 "Smoke meth on your lunch break, your smoke break, and your shit break. A porta pottie is a great place to trip balls in the summer."
Step 4 can be a little tricky, "Shave your belly! That will help you lose 2 pound right there. I lost 3 pounds, but I was a hairy bastard." Step 5 "Get your ears pierced and wear over sized ear rings. That don't really help you lose weight, but you'll look like you belong in a Limp Bizkit cover band and that's cool as shit!" Step 6 "Take another damn picture with your shirt off and let everyone see that you still look pretty terrible."
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