Yellowstone Volcano Could Erupt Soon, Unless We Sacrifice 72 Virgins. ISIS takes credit.

Yellowstone’s volcano could erupt much sooner, due to threats from ISIS. In a recent message from an ISIS leader, Ishbu Salami, he states, "We are prepared to force this volcano to erupt unless Donald Trump sacrifices 72 virgins into the volcano..." adding, "we're serious! We need some virgins!".

Trump has been briefed about the threat and had this to say, "I've sponsored the Miss America pageant for years and I have to tell you, I wouldn't even know where to find that many virgins all at once!" adding, "...but when we find them my administration will be sure to shove them into the volcano, but not because the terrorists want us to.". Leading us to believe Trump just hates virgins.

The Yellowstone volcano is one of about 20 known super-volcanoes. The last time Yellowstone erupted was 630,000 years ago. Due to the increased activity at the site between rival dinosaur factions.

A Category 8 eruption would devastate the United States and wipe out a major portion of the country. Hot ash could cover 20 states. An eruption would spew 2,500 times more material than the 1980 Mount St. Helens eruption in which 57 people were killed. With all of the recent talk of a potential nuclear war, being taken out by a volcano seems pretty lame.

#Yellowstone #volcano #ISIS #Virgin #Trump